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Jey Young

Episode 162 of The Young Dad Podcast: Building Emotionally Intelligent Men, Community, and Self-Care for Neurodivergent Dads with Dr. Matt




In Episode 162 of The Young Dad Podcast, Jey sits down with Dr. Matt, a clinical psychologist who specializes in supporting neurodivergent individuals and their families. Together, they delve into the crucial topics of emotional intelligence, community support, and self-care for fathers—with a particular focus on the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent dads. Dr. Matt emphasizes the importance of men becoming more emotionally aware and vulnerable, seeking out spaces where they can connect with other dads, and taking care of their mental health. This episode offers a powerful message of empowerment and encouragement for young dads to honor themselves and embrace their full range of strengths and weaknesses.


Creating a Generation of Emotionally Intelligent Men

"We're creating a generation of emotionally intelligent men," Dr. Matt asserts early on in the episode. Both Jey and Dr. Matt agree that the traditional model of masculinity—one that encourages men to suppress their emotions and “tough it out”—is not sustainable for the well-being of fathers or their families.

The conversation highlights the importance of raising a generation of emotionally intelligent men, who are comfortable expressing their feelings, being vulnerable, and connecting with others on a deeper level. By doing so, fathers can better support their children’s emotional development and set a strong example for the next generation.

Takeaway: Emotional intelligence is key to fostering healthy relationships and breaking down outdated stereotypes of masculinity. Dads should feel empowered to embrace vulnerability and emotional expression.


The Need for Community and Support for Dads

One of the main points Dr. Matt emphasizes is that "Men need a lot more community and communal spaces." For too long, men have been expected to figure things out on their own, but this isolation can lead to burnout, stress, and emotional disconnection.

Dr. Matt encourages dads to seek out supportive communities where they can connect with other fathers who share their struggles and triumphs. Whether it’s through local dad groups, online forums, or informal gatherings with friends, these communal spaces are essential for mental well-being and emotional resilience.

Jey echoes this sentiment, noting that community is especially crucial for neurodivergent dads, who may feel isolated or misunderstood in traditional parenting spaces.

Takeaway: Dads need to prioritize building and participating in communities where they can share experiences, receive support, and feel understood. Community is essential for both emotional health and effective fatherhood.


Honoring Mental Health and Self-Care

Dr. Matt and Jey dive into the topic of mental health and self-care, which are often neglected by fathers who feel pressured to put their families first. Dr. Matt explains that many dads "feel like they matter the least in their family," which can lead to neglecting their own well-being.

However, both hosts stress the importance of prioritizing mental health. Dr. Matt encourages dads to see self-care as a necessity, not a luxury. Whether it's taking time for hobbies, seeking therapy, or simply finding moments of peace in a busy day, self-care is essential for being the best version of yourself—not just for your own health, but for your family’s well-being too.

Takeaway: Fathers need to honor themselves by prioritizing their mental health and self-care. Taking care of yourself enables you to be the best parent and partner you can be.


Supporting Neurodivergent Dads and Their Unique Challenges

A key focus of this episode is the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent dads. Dr. Matt specializes in working with individuals on the autism spectrum and those with ADHD, and he shares insights on how these fathers can often feel isolated or overwhelmed by the demands of parenthood.

He advises fathers to "give your kid a name for it," referring to the power of identifying and naming emotions or challenges. By giving their children and themselves the language to express their experiences, neurodivergent dads can foster greater understanding and connection within their families.

Dr. Matt also encourages neurodivergent dads to seek support in areas where they feel they struggle, whether it’s through therapy, coaching, or finding like-minded individuals who understand their unique challenges.

Takeaway: Neurodivergent dads face unique challenges but can thrive by seeking support, identifying emotions, and communicating openly with their families.


Starting Where You Are: Embrace Strengths and Weaknesses

The episode wraps up with some empowering advice for young dads: "Start where you are," Dr. Matt says, emphasizing that fatherhood is a journey filled with ups and downs. No one has all the answers, and it's okay to embrace your strengths and weaknesses as a parent.

Jey and Dr. Matt encourage young dads to be kind to themselves, to recognize that they are doing their best, and to seek help in areas where they feel they need it. Whether it’s reaching out to a community, seeking professional help, or just taking a moment to reflect, the key is to keep moving forward and growing in your role as a father.

Takeaway: Embrace your strengths and weaknesses as a father. Start where you are, and don’t hesitate to seek support or guidance when needed.


FAQs

Q: How can dads become more emotionally intelligent?

A: Start by embracing vulnerability and emotional expression. Practice active listening, ask for feedback, and engage in self-reflection to better understand your emotions and how they impact your relationships.

Q: What are some ways dads can build community?

A: Dads can build community by joining local dad groups, participating in online forums, or even organizing informal meetups with other fathers. The key is to find spaces where you feel supported and connected.

Q: Why is self-care important for fathers?

A: Self-care is essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. When fathers take care of themselves, they are better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting and can show up as their best selves for their families.

Q: How can neurodivergent dads seek support?

A: Neurodivergent dads can seek support by connecting with professionals who specialize in neurodivergence, joining communities of like-minded individuals, or engaging in therapy or coaching tailored to their unique needs.


Wrapping Up:

Episode 162 of The Young Dad Podcast delivers a powerful and insightful discussion on building emotionally intelligent men, creating supportive communities, and prioritizing self-care—especially for neurodivergent dads. Dr. Matt offers invaluable advice on how fathers can embrace their strengths, address their challenges, and find the support they need to thrive. This episode is a must-listen for any dad looking to enhance his emotional intelligence, improve his mental health, and build stronger connections with his family and community.

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